Earlier this week, I made the decision to leave my job at Grab and begin a new chapter. Over the last few weeks, I've spent alot of time reflecting on my time there. Four years is a long time, and it gave me enough perspective to see how some of my earlier decisions have aged. This first post is a reflection on what I learnt during my time as an Engineering Manager.
Looking back, I think the real lesson was not just how to lead a team, but how to lead with both strategy and empathy.
What does being an Engineering Manager really mean?
In 2023, months after joining Grab, I was given the opportunity to lead a platform team within the Technical Infrastructure organization. How has my perspective of what being an EM means changed since then?
To many, an Engineering Manager does the following (this was how I saw the job before I took it up):
- Strategic/Product leadership: Goal setting, which involves setting up goals/OKRs which align with the organization's strategy.
- Project Management: Coordinating efforts that the team puts in to their day-to-day work, steer the team so their day-to-day tasks help deliver an outcome that the organization needs.
- People management: Having 1-1s, setting stretch goals for your team members, conflict resolution and promoting/growing your team.
- Technical leadership: Drive technical decisions and build technical maturity/culture. Especially if there isn't a senior IC on your team, you'll also be expected to make trade-off specific decisions for the team.
The list is not wrong. Those are the core responsibilities of an Engineering Manager. However, I learnt the hard way that the role is much more multi-faceted than that.
As an Engineering Manager, you take on the ownership and accountability for your team's success. That means that if you notice things go awry, you'll take on the initiative to naturally steer things in the right direction. That's how many Engineering Managers end up wearing multiple hats! (Also why generalists tend to be better Engineering Managers than specialists). Often times, I found myself putting on the Product Manager's hat whenever a decision seemed to not share the product's overall vision. If a new project got assigned to the team with a tight deadline, you put on your Project Manager hat and made delivery plans.
Looking back, the biggest shift in my thinking was not about learning how to do the job better. It was about learning how to hold both the business need and the human need at the same time.
Here's what I learnt.
Peeling the EM onion
Inflection point 1: Managerial responsibilities to actual Leadership
As an EM, you get to "listen" and help make the best possible judgement and take ownership for your decision. What I refer to as "Listening" essentially is taking in various forms of context and forming a good understanding so that you can make decisions. Some examples are: What does the organization need? What is the most important thing teams need to deliver? Can your team deliver it? Over my career so far, I have met leaders who seemed like intuitive and talented listeners. Their wisdom and years of experience just gives them a good sense of how to steer their teams.
On the other hand, I've also witnessed instances where leaders struggle to provide direction to their teams. Based on my observations, these leaders do speak well, they communicate well in the sense that they can convey what outcomes they want. However what's typically lacking is the listening. Don't get me wrong though, listening really isn't just taking in what someone said, just so you can respond. It's the internalising, contextualising, understanding, and tying it all together with the human/business pieces that makes you a good listener.
What if being a good listener does not come intuitive to you? Don't worry I only said it seemed to me that it looked like it comes as second nature to some people. What I know for certain now is that being a good leader requires one to be methododical and intentional in the way they think, reflect and act on problems and people.
Honestly, at this point of my career, I don't think I'm at where I want to be yet (There is always a better version of myself that I'm trying to become). So what I think is good for myself and any of you aspiring Engineering leaders out there, is to find that role model of a leader, read books that deepen your understanding of how people, businesses and the world in general works. Essentially, learn from the mistakes that others have made and take the time to build up the wisdom that's necessary to be a good leader.
Inflection point 2: Addressing the tension between being strategic and being human
Over time, I realised that being an Engineering Manager is not just about making good decisions for the business. It is also about understanding the people behind those decisions. That tension has been one of the toughest parts for me personally: being strategic without becoming detached, and being human without losing clarity. I think that's where a lot of Engineering Manager's growth is.
One of the toughest parts of being a manager is being transparent with your team, especially when the business needs might not match what an individual wants. In those moments, it is tempting to soften the message or avoid the discomfort. But I have found that being honest about the trade-offs often helps more in the long run. Your team might not like the decision, but they are likely to trust you when they understand the reasoning.
What's next for me
What’s next for me feels exciting. The multi-faceted nature of engineering management has always played to my strengths as a generalist. It has given me the chance to solve problems that span multiple domains. As AI continues to reshape how we work and solve problems, I'm really looking forward to starting the next chapter of my career.